Alone and Together: Striking a Balance

During the last four months, my husband has been out of town for weeks at a time, mostly to help care for his mother during a challenging time for the family. Whenever this happens, I take over the dining room table, spreading out projects and leaving works-in-progress laying around for days at a time. I get enormous amounts of creative work done during these times. However, I'm always happy when he arrives back home, partly because I've missed him but also because after a certain amount of solo work time I feel saturated. At that point it's time for a break, and the best type of break is a social one. This year all my various groups are either taking breaks themselves or are in limbo due to personal circumstances, so the usual social outlets aren't there...and the difference is noticeable.

Everyone has a unique ideal balance between solo creative time and communal exchange-of-ideas time. If you're engaged in any side venture that involves creative work (and this includes almost everything, not just the arts), it pays to find your own ideal. This may take some experimentation. In addition, if you have children under the age of 18 or are caring for a family member, you may already be struggling to carve out some solo time. And on top of that, if you have to work outside the home you probably already miss your family so often that whenever you're together, everything else falls by the wayside. Been there, done that.

However, it's still worth your while to experiment or play with creative project time. If you have young children, you could try to find a way for them to participate alongside you. Many of the visual arts and crafts lend themselves well to this. With older kids, striking a bargain ("I'll help you with your homework after I get in fifteen minutes of practice") often works. If you're married or partnered, set up regular solo times for both of you where your partner takes care of family matters while you get to work alone, and vice versa. For some excellent ideas on how to enlist family support, read Wishcraft by Barbara Sher, with special attention to the final chapter, "Don't do-it-yourself."

When you have a regularly scheduled time for solo work, you'll find it easier to respond to the stuff life throws your way without feeling cheated or rushed. The next step is to find or create a group of fellow artists, writers (or whatever) for mutual support. In the next post I'll offer suggestions on finding like-minded people who also see the need for group work.