Self-Preservation for Servers

'Tis the season. The season for what depends on what you do.

For some it's the season for shopping, partying and merry-making. Cozy times with friends and reunions with family. Church or synagogue activities. Caroling. Fun get-togethers. Vacation days ahead. Chestnuts roasting on open fires and all that jazz.

For those who make the merry-making possible, however, the winter holiday season can be 2-month stressfest: too much overtime (and not enough family time), homesickness, crabby customers, feeling like everybody's favorite shooting target, missing out on gatherings because of work, long hours on tired feet, the feeling that if your head ever hits the pillow you might never wake up, and in the end, a paycheck that barely pays for basic necessities.

I know; I've been there. I vividly remember closing up the candy store where I worked at 9 p.m. on Christmas Eve and realizing that whatever bus was running through downtown Seattle wouldn't get me to the family gathering before everyone else left. Fortunately I was 24, single, mostly footloose and didn't mind overly much. If it had happened half a decade later when I was a working mom, I would have minded terribly. At 32, with a baby, I hated being away from home on holidays.

During those years I often wondered whether it's possible to have a spiritually significant winter holiday season as long as I continued to work in the retail/restaurant field. Later, when I worked in public education, I had official winter breaks but a second "career" in music meant that December was still packed.

Over the course of three decades, including my last 4 years in customer service once again, I've worked out ways to smooth out the bumps and work in as much personally meaningful observance and celebration as possible. Here they are:

• If you're working more than 40 hours per week, either at one job, several PT jobs or a job plus shows/gigs, get as much rest as you can. Yeah, I know, you snort, They all say that. But I mean it. If you're worn to a frazzle, you can't make anyone happy, including yourself. If conditions at home prevent a full night's sleep, consider some occasional creative alternatives to sleeping at home. One friend of mine offered free house-sitting services in exchange for being able to stay at the places she watched. Last December this gave her a total of 10 days away from home, in a bed all to herself with no background TV noise to filter out. She credits the fact that she's still married to her house-sitting gigs. Take naps if you need them. If you drive, keep a blanket and alarm clock or kitchen timer in your car; if you must use the staff room, use headphones as a "do not disturb" signal. And take it easy on the caffeine - past a certain point, it doesn't help.
  
• Even if you're not religious or you don't practice a spiritual/philosophical discipline, take 15-20 minutes every morning to do emotional protective work. If visualizing works for you, close your eyes and create a mental picture of being surrounded by a protective bubble of light, a bubble that allows positive energy in but screens out malicious or detrimental energy. If you pray or do workings, ask for protection from the effects of others' ill intentions. Putting up self-protective energy won't turn you into an unresponsive emotional Vulcan - it will make you less vulnerable to the energy vampires that suck the juice out of you and still leave problems unsolved.
  
• Find a time during each day when you can connect with the spirit of the season as you experience it. For some of my traditional Christian friends this means time for prayer and Bible study. For a Pagan friend who practices a blend of traditional Celtic and Native American Earth spirituality, it means going for a pre-dawn walk. For a Zen Buddhist colleague it means silent mindfulness meditation. And for yet another friend who doesn't belong to an organized religion, it means having a long talk with her sister or mother. You decide what's meaningful to you.
• See what social events you can reasonably do. Tell family/friends that even though you might be late, you still want to come just to check in. If you're short on money or time this year, let them know. If they love you & want to see you, your presence will be what matters, not the price of your gift or quality of your potluck dish.
• If you work in retail you might be able to take time off after the holidays. Request vacations days during January or February, and think about how you really want to spend them. If packing up and flying off to some destination is more stress than it's worth, forget about it. Stay home and catch up on sleep, reading or movie-watching, and visiting friends. On the other hand, if you really want to go somewhere, then go.
• Above all, ask for help and understanding if you need it. This is the hardest thing for me to do! As the oldest of six and a do-er, I feel embarassed asking for help or saying "I'm feeling overwhelmed by all this." But I've learned that if the mother ship sinks, a few piddly life jackets won't do any good. If you're a stiff upper lipper like me, suck it up and ask for help.
  

For the last decade I've experimented with "doing" the holidays and have come up with a rough plan that fulfulls basic obligations (but not unreasonable ones), takes a packed December schedule into account, provides pockets of observance and celebration around the Solstice and Christmas, and gives me (Finally! Yessss!) vacation time in January. Every year my household adjusts our celebrations to fit available times. It's worked for 20 years but it took a lot of experimentation. Toggle and tweak whatever you need to.

Best seasonal wishes to all of you, especially those of you who make celebrations possible by assisting customers, serving food, caring for the ill or elderly or for children, providing music and other entertainment, providing emergency services (EMTs, firefighters, police officers) or who staff the many social services helping those who don't have a place to go. May you find meaning in the work you do as well as in your holiday celebrations.

Part 2 - Come Prepared

You increase your chances of reaching the most satisfactory outcome (within the limits of what's possible) from a problem-solving session with a customer server if you go in prepared:

• Have a good grasp of what you want to accomplish. For a simple transaction such as making a return, this is easy. If the problem is more complicated - for example, you've lost your job and want to negotiate a doable monthly payment plan for a large bill - jot down your ideas before calling or coming in. If you're anxious about the situation, your anxiety might cause a "brain dump" when it's time for your meeting. Having notes will remind you of important points.
• Speak slowly and clearly, especially over the phone. Mobile phones do funny things to people's voices and static often disrupts the message. I've noticed that customers who are upset or nervous about something often speak in a breathless word-rush when explaining a situation.
  
• Have all the necessary information, receipts, documents, cards or account numbers on hand. When I worked for a drug store chain as a student, an astonishing number of customers would bring in an item to exchange or return, then look blankly at me when I asked for the receipt. Don't count on the business or service having a readily accessible copy.
• If you don't like stuffing your wallet with all those cards, store your account numbers in your PDA or phone. Many organizations have company policies against conducting transactions over the phone without an account number; they can't look you up by name. This isn't because they want to aggravate you; it's because they need to make sure the caller is really you, and over the phone they can't check photo ID.
• If the first person you talk to - probably a sales associate or call center rep - can't help you because of a certain company policy, request to speak with a manager rather than ask the employee to bend the rules. Customer service workers don't say "No" to reasonable requests because they enjoy it for it's own sake. It's because they could get written up for not following strict procedures.
• Finally, if you thank the person who helped you, it'll leave good feelings and help ensure that you get great service on your next visit.
  

Getting Good Service Pt. 1

This blog is for people who practice an art and work a day job. However, I'm posting this piece because many of us day-jobbers work in customer service occupations. In my own working life, I've been a busgirl, waitress, cashier (now called sales associate) for a major retailer, sales associate at various specialty shops, receptionist, phone operator and library assistant. I've also worked as a preschool teacher and school staff assistant. All these jobs have entailed extensive contact with the public. Most of my working life has been "out there" rather than safely tucked away in a cubicle, removed from public scrutiny. I'm familiar with the common conflicts between customers and organizations. For this reason I believe I can offer insights to customers who approach customer service workers with a problem or need.

I'm also posting this because in a few weeks, we start the annual shopping orgy known as the Christmas Rush. It begins with Black Friday, so called because if retail operations make a good profit the Friday after Thanksgiving, it's likely they'll stay in the black during the holiday shopping season. I hope that this post (and possible subsequent ones) can contribute to a sane and civil holiday season.
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Good to Know: Before You Approach Customer Servers

• Assume that service workers want to help. If reasonable customers are satisfied, everyone wins: the business gets repeat customers, the customer gets what she wants and at the least, the service worker gets to keep her job...not a small deal during times like these. At best, she gets a commission, bonus or brownie points in her employee file. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt when you approach a situation.
• Realize that service workers are people just like you. They have feelings, families, friends, hopes and dreams. Drop any ideas that they work in customer service jobs because they can't find anything else or they aren't smart/accomplished/educated/lucky enough for desk jobs. Many folks out there are doing what they can to make a living in tough times. And some of us actually like the contact with the public. People with university degrees and white-collar jobs need to get the message: occupations have very little to do with intelligence.
  
• Above all, do not treat service workers like "hired help" or attendants in your personal retinue. Most of my readers would never dream of doing this but I've encountered enough Queens of Sheba in my various jobs to feel that it's an important point.
  
• If you're coming in with a major gripe about company policies, realize that the person at the cash register, across the counter or on the other end of the phone line probably didn't have any say when that policy was made. Front-line people are normally the lowest on the company food chain. Depending on the company, they may have a single vote or no voice whatsoever. But chances are, none of them made the rule you're upset about. Save the venting for corporate headquarters. If a policy strikes you as unfair, request the name of the store or district manager, and thank the sales associate when she gives it to you.
• Remember that civility greases the wheels while antagonism jams gears. Until you have evidence that the company or worker is trying to darken your day, use an even-toned voice and choose neutral words. If you feel like you've been slighted, stop and do an honest reality check. Is the store crowded? Was the line orderly, or was it unclear who was next?
• After you've been helped by anyone, thank him or her. It doesn't matter that he's "just doing his job" like he was hired to do - this is never a good reason to fail to acknowledge good service.

Next: Specific things you can do to prepare for a customer service transaction such as returning items.

The View From Saturday

Sometimes two words can change your day.

Some years ago, I came slogging in to work on a dark, rainy Saturday. My mood was as black as the sky. Generally I didn't mind working Saturdays but that day I'd had to miss an event that my group did every year.

Zillions of Americans work "non-traditional" hours. However, artistic/cultural events are still built around the assumption that most people work day hours, M-F. If you play in a band, sing or are in community theater, having to work evenings and weekends on a regular basis can nip a lot of opportunities in the bud. Since most social events such as weddings and reunions happen on weekends, it's possible to exhaust vacation days just by requesting a Saturday here & there.

I was feeling cranky about missing the performance and resigned to having a lo-o-ong day. Then something amazing happened. The manager called us together for a quick pre-opening meeting, and thanked us for coming in. He said he realized that it can be hard to work on Saturdays even when the weather isn't miserable, and that he appreciated the hard work we'd be doing that day.

I'd never been thanked for coming in to work before. I suppose it could be considered icing on the cake; if you have a job, you're just expected to show up no matter what. But just knowing that at least one person knew how hard we worked and appreciated our efforts lifted our spirits.

Since that time I've acquired a schedule that's friendlier towards rehearsals and gigs, but I learned that day that a simple thank you can make an enormous difference to someone who's feeling overworked, stressed or sad. If I end up doing errands during the weekend - grocery shopping, filling the tank, ordering something by phone - I try to remember to thank the person across the counter or at the other end of the line. She might be missing out on something important, such as a child's ball game or recital, in order to provide a service that makes my own weekend run smoothly.

And even if it's just another Saturday for her, a thank you will make an already-good day better.

Blog Break

I will be taking a break from this blog during National Novel Writing Month - not just to (once again) attempt to finish a book but also to work on some other projects. Back soon...

Working With Your Hands is Good for Your Head

Why make stuff?

My friends who do visual arts, gourmet cooking, costuming and other arts & crafts tell me that it often has less to do with needing a particular item than it does the satisfaction they get from working with their hands. They practice their art even if they don't have any urge to earn a living from it.

Now there's evidence that handwork or even hard physical work can counteract the brain fog you might get from too much time at a desk, in front of a glowing screen. I'm still reading about this (Shop Class as Soul Craft by Matthew Crawford, Penguin Press 2009) so my information on why this is true is incomplete. I do know that after answering phones and tapping at a keyboard all day, it's a relief to pull a few weeds.

Deadlines

"I love deadlines. I like the sound they make as they go swooshing overhead." Douglas Adams, author of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy books

I love deadlines too. But it's sometimes awfully hard ot motivate myself to meet self-imposed ones. That's where the power of 2+ comes in. I've found that working with a creativity partner or belonging to a group helps immensely. Having to answer to others creates accountability, which motivates you to move. If you don't have this sort of support, find it by doing an online search for local groups or getting on your area's Craigslist. Post your own ad if you don't find anything already there.