Making Dreams Real: No Ideal Times

Someone once said, "There's never a perfect time to go to the dentist, buy a house or have kids." The same goes for working towards any dream but it might be especially true if the dream involves an art form. Most people understand if you eventually want to own your own home or have a child. As for the dentist...sometimes it's not negotiable. But a large portion of our "realistic" society still sees art as frivolous, dispensable and maybe even self-indulgent.

That's why some of us find ourselves justifying such dreams in terms of cost-benefit (especially when challenged by someone else), neglecting them when Urgent Business calls or simply telling ourselves, "I'll write that screenplay/start my website/launch my portrait business when things settle down."

The problem is that things won't settle down, at least not permanently. To quote Oprah, "This I know for sure." Life is like a 2-month old kitten - it never stays still for long. Sure, you'll get the car paid off but someday it'll die and you'll need another. Kids grow up and leave home but as many of my Boomer friends are experiencing, aging parents or grandparents needing care may take the kids' place immediately.

If you've been dying to do something creative but have been postponing it because of life "stuff," stop waiting. Conditions will never be just right; you have to create the right conditions yourself. You do this not by first taking care of everything else for once & for all but by making time today. It need only be five minutes at first. In the beginning what counts is that you're doing it at all. The energy builds from there.

Scottish climber W. H. Murray's famous quote ("when you move, providence moves too") reminds us that once we start on a dream, it's as if we're making an announcement to the universe, and often we'll be rewarded with unexpected help. But we have to make the first move.

Making Dreams Real: Other Confidence Boosters

Yesterday I wrote about using a portfolio or creative resume as a way to boost your confidence even if you don't plan to market what you produce or don't feel any urge to earn money by practicing your passion. Today's post summarizes other ways to remind yourself of your own creative abilities and worth:

• Have a brag session with a few friends who also devote themselves to a cause, art form or project during their off hours. Let each participant have 15 minutes during which he can "show and tell" the accomplishments of which he's especially proud. Bring examples for the "show" part. No critiquing here - this is just for appreciation.
  
• Estimate in dollar amounts how much you've saved for an organization, contributed to an effort or made for someone else. This works especially well in circumstances where your volunteer time has enabled something to happen - a fundraiser, a benefit concert, whatever - that would have cost a fortune if hired professionals needed to be called in. The point isn't to focus on the material benefits of your contributions but to remind yourself of the value of your work, paid or not.
• List concrete accomplishments that your work produced, even if it's just something like "my story helped my best friend feel better when she was depressed." Often we can't see all the results of what we do, but whenever you can, take note.
• Finally, record stories of the compliments and praise you've received. It's nice to think that we could all steam ahead without any rewards or affirmation whatsoever but the truth is, when someone else likes our work and tells us so, we feel especially good. Affirmations from others shouldn't turn us into approval junkies but I believe that everyone needs them at some point. If you want, keep a "guest book" or comment page, on line or on paper, that people can sign.

As we give and receive validation of our gifts and skills, we become bolder about offering those gifts to the world.

Making Dreams Real: Too Many Rubber Chickens

A friend once remarked to me, "My problem is that I'm juggling too many balls. Or maybe rubber chickens." She and I met while working as staff assistants at an elementary school. We both had full-time jobs, young children, spouses who also worked as school assistants (read: forget about "staying home" or even cutting back to part-time), and were, against all odds, persistently trying to further our far-off dreams. She was an actress in community theater and circus productions (hence the juggling metaphor) before having kids. I'd given up trying to keep a writing & editing business afloat. Both of us acutely felt the absence of something crucial in our lives, something that no amount of work or family satisfaction could replace.

I decided to start writing again even if I couldn't find markets for my material. She decided to start teaching acting classes for neighborhood children in her basement. We agreed to be each others' cheerleaders. Over the course of the year, we encouraged each other to keep at it. Neither of us made enormous strides towards our goals that year but it was the keeping up that counted.

When you have too many rubber chickens in the air, you might have to scale down on personal projects for awhile but it's critical that you don't give them up entirely. Even if you can only write for 20 minutes on Saturday night just before falling into bed, or you can only sing in the car as you drive to work, or you only take one decent photo a week, it's vital to keep your passion alive. Having even a tiny bit of time that you look forward to every week can keep you slogging along through work, bills and obligations. And the stronger the connection to the passion inside you, the more energy you'll have for every other area of life.