Making Dreams Real: Stopping a Downward Spiral

When embarking on a big project such as writing a novel, this is how the process goes for some of us:

1. Set a goal - the bigger the better so that we'll be really motivated. How about drafting three chapters every day?
2. On Day 1, still bursting with enthusiasm, we meet that goal.
3. On Day 2, real life intrudes and we fall a little short.
4. On Day 3, an emergency at work or home - two co-workers call in sick, the pipes burst -and we manage to draft only a few paragraphs. Despondent, we decide that maybe this writing business is a pipe dream so we quit entirely for a week, spending our free time eating potato chips and watching reality TV.
5. On Day 10, we realize we're bored so we resurrect the Big Goal. And the process starts over.

Until recently, whenever I resolved to cut back on coffee (about every 3 months), I pulled out all the stops. Not only did I resolve to cut out all caffeine cold-turkey, I also decided to go vegan and start jogging 7 miles every day, and...

Then when I inevitably fell short of my goals, I'd get discouraged and quit entirely. I'd ruminate on what a slacker I am (Dr. Pamela Peeke, author of the Fit After Forty books, calls this "bottom-feeding"). And nothing was accomplished.

In the cognitive therapy branch of psychiatry, they call this all or nothing thinking. Many of us fall victim to it at some point. Only within the past year have I started a habit of challenging all or nothing thinking, and learning how to be happy with what I'm able to manage on any given day.

If you find that all or nothing thinking is a challenge for you, try this for a month: keep a log of everything - every little thing - you do towards reaching a goal each day. Some days your log may read, "Drafted my synopsis" or " Practiced for an hour." Other days it might say "Wrote 50 words," or "Played one scale."
After a month you'll see just how many small steps you've taken - you'll probably be surprised at how much you've actually been able to accomplish. This in turn will motivate you to do more.

Incidentally, an accomplishment log can help stop any downward spiral in its tracks, whether you're on a creative mission, trying to lose weight, paring down debt & saving money...any challenge that seems overwhelming at times. By stamping out perfectionism and accepting good-faith efforts, you set yourself up for success.